“You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.” ~ Oscar Pistorius

Oscar’s disability forced him to fight for acceptance, recognition, and respect in the athletic arena and in his own mind. Now he’s going to the Olympics.

When you read his story, you will see that he had his bad days when he just couldn’t make himself do what he had to do to compete. Haven’t we all felt that at some point in our lives? But how many of us had to overcome such incredible odds?

Having bad days when you just don’t think you’re good enough, strong enough, or even smart enough is part of the human condition. I will not be a Pollyanna (or Sappy Sadie, the Jewish equivalent) about this. Those who have seemingly insurmountable disabilities have it much harder than the rest of us. At their core, they believe in themselves, but sometimes it’s hard to go on. That’s when they need to have someone in their lives who believes in them.

Diana Nyad keeps trying to swim to Cuba despite the dangers, Lance Armstrong won the race 7 times despite cancer, and Oscar is going for a medal on his artificial legs. All of them have people in their lives who believe they can do it. For Oscar it’s his coach, Ampie Louw.

These athletes and coaches are our teachers. Not only do they show us what is possible, they confirm the fact that we all need someone to help us. Someone who believes we can do it, but it has to start with believing in ourselves. Without that, we don’t have a shot. Even those who have had to do it alone have had someone along the way – even fleetingly – who said yes you can.

First, you have to have the guts to be in the “race” at all, and then you need that person who tells the truth and helps you see that you CAN be in the race. For athletes, winning is it – no one competes to lose. For the rest of us, their example is what we need to embrace.

If you’re in the race, be there for someone who needs the push to be in it too. Then count that as one of your successes. ♦ Ruth

You may have seen this; it has been making the rounds this week on the internet:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. …. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; And maybe it was my fault. He was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.”

A very sad take on who we are as a society. However, there are bright spots here and there. In some businesses, there are those who still believe. http://buswk.co/qrJcf1 Here’s a CEO employing the tried and true common sense of Peter Drucker. I know it’s only one in many thousands, but at least it shows that common sense may not be dead. Thriving? No – but he’s up and taking nourishment!

Let’s not glue the back of our hands to our foreheads with the “woe is me” mantra. It really does sully the memory of Common Sense – he deserves to live and we are the ones responsible for seeing to it that he rises from the ashes.

What do you think? Is Common Sense dead and gone? ♦ Ruth

(BTW, there are situations where 2 of the stepbrothers are good boys. For example, “I know my rights” – a good thing to have when falsely accused of something (which happens more frequently than you think). “I Want it Now” – is the right thing when the QB says I play to win and I want it now. However, “Someone Else is to Blame”, and “I’m a victim” are definitely the evil twins.)

Like it or not, women do need coaching if they want to rise to senior leadership levels in mid to large organizations. The McKinsey report is quite clear about this – http://on.wsj.com/fldB8j .

Also necessary, is coaching to a new mind-set for the male-dominated leaders who are responsible for promoting women. According to the report, many organizations have consciously made efforts to promote women. That is true, however there still remains the bias that women are the “weaker sex” and therefore would not make good leaders. .

Strategic thinking, multi-tasking, conflict resolution, coaching and developing staff, as well as the many other parameters for promotion may be the same for men and women, but they need to be broadened to mine the depth of women’s business and personal acumen.

Certainly, coaching women to the C-Suite will help considerably. But the barriers- spoken and unspoken – will remain unless men are also coached about how to think about women inside their organization.

The report recommends that top managers be judged partly on their ability to groom and promote female talent. A strong reason for coaching the men.

That operational focus must be more than an organizational objective. It requires a commitment to the belief that it’s a positive thing to “groom and promote” women, not only for its own sake, but because it serves the organization well. As the report eloquently states: “A diversity program by itself, no matter how comprehensive, is no match for entrenched beliefs that prevail.” This is why women may need coaching to be promotable, and men need coaching to know how to promote them.