“You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.” ~ Oscar Pistorius

Oscar’s disability forced him to fight for acceptance, recognition, and respect in the athletic arena and in his own mind. Now he’s going to the Olympics.

When you read his story, you will see that he had his bad days when he just couldn’t make himself do what he had to do to compete. Haven’t we all felt that at some point in our lives? But how many of us had to overcome such incredible odds?

Having bad days when you just don’t think you’re good enough, strong enough, or even smart enough is part of the human condition. I will not be a Pollyanna (or Sappy Sadie, the Jewish equivalent) about this. Those who have seemingly insurmountable disabilities have it much harder than the rest of us. At their core, they believe in themselves, but sometimes it’s hard to go on. That’s when they need to have someone in their lives who believes in them.

Diana Nyad keeps trying to swim to Cuba despite the dangers, Lance Armstrong won the race 7 times despite cancer, and Oscar is going for a medal on his artificial legs. All of them have people in their lives who believe they can do it. For Oscar it’s his coach, Ampie Louw.

These athletes and coaches are our teachers. Not only do they show us what is possible, they confirm the fact that we all need someone to help us. Someone who believes we can do it, but it has to start with believing in ourselves. Without that, we don’t have a shot. Even those who have had to do it alone have had someone along the way – even fleetingly – who said yes you can.

First, you have to have the guts to be in the “race” at all, and then you need that person who tells the truth and helps you see that you CAN be in the race. For athletes, winning is it – no one competes to lose. For the rest of us, their example is what we need to embrace.

If you’re in the race, be there for someone who needs the push to be in it too. Then count that as one of your successes. ♦ Ruth

You may have seen this; it has been making the rounds this week on the internet:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. …. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; And maybe it was my fault. He was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.”

A very sad take on who we are as a society. However, there are bright spots here and there. In some businesses, there are those who still believe. http://buswk.co/qrJcf1 Here’s a CEO employing the tried and true common sense of Peter Drucker. I know it’s only one in many thousands, but at least it shows that common sense may not be dead. Thriving? No – but he’s up and taking nourishment!

Let’s not glue the back of our hands to our foreheads with the “woe is me” mantra. It really does sully the memory of Common Sense – he deserves to live and we are the ones responsible for seeing to it that he rises from the ashes.

What do you think? Is Common Sense dead and gone? ♦ Ruth

(BTW, there are situations where 2 of the stepbrothers are good boys. For example, “I know my rights” – a good thing to have when falsely accused of something (which happens more frequently than you think). “I Want it Now” – is the right thing when the QB says I play to win and I want it now. However, “Someone Else is to Blame”, and “I’m a victim” are definitely the evil twins.)

More and more, my coaching work is about helping people become engaged and connected with their work, their families, and their communities at large. Recognizing who we are in the world, what we stand for, and how to go about reaching our goals requires courage and perseverance.

In difficult times – such as in today’s economic and social climate – the task is more difficult because we have to balance our search with a realistic assessment. It may seem that pursuit of a passion or dream is out of the question because we have to do what is necessary to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads.

The real challenge is to find a way to do both – find the connection between them. There are things we can do to address both desires. These difficult times require us to reach for our courage, be more creative in our thinking, and more tolerant of our present situation.

“The Protean Self” by Robert Jay Lifton. sheds light on how we are attempting to live our lives in today’s chaotic society. It is Lifton’s view that embracing the fluidity of our lives, “is an act of imagination and, as such, a profound (new) beginning.”

Most of us have to believe that times will get better. The question becomes, will we be ready to move ahead when they do get better, or are we going to wait, see what happens, then move? Those who have the courage and perseverance not to abandon their dreams and do what can be done during these trying times will be poised for a more rewarding future more quickly. The person who does this has both a strategic and competitive edge. Where are you in this mix?